ZOLTAR’S ATM: The Census Citizenship Question

Before we begin, let us take a brief moment for contemplation so that we can collectively ponder the greatness that is me. My post from last month with 3-0, bringing my current, documented and verifiable record at a shit your pants 22-0.  To put it candidly, I am the golden goose and have served as your treasure map to the truth for over a year. To my loyal minions who followed my lead and had the courage to put their trust in Zoltar… you are welcome. To the rest of you reading this post at the salon while trading Tampax coupons with iSavage over a good cry, stop being a goddamn disgrace. What could be at your last shot at redemption now comes in the form of another Zoltar money train heading to F-you money town with its next stop at the 2020 Census Market/Citizenship Question.

census market
What is this market about? You are betting on whether the 2020 Census will include a question that asks if the person taking the survey is a citizen of the United States (i.e. the “Citizens Question”).  Lefties consider the Citizenship Question a GOP rouse to scare illegal immigrants away from taking the survey, thereby receiving less government goodies intended for them, and have filed at least three lawsuits attempting to prevent the Citizenship Question from being added to the 2020 Census.  Each of the three cases have ruled against Trump administration. Trump has appealed all the way to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court heard oral arguments on this matter a few weeks ago and will issue their opinion before the June 30 print deadline set by the Census Bureau.

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When will this market resolve?– Articles coming out now say this decision will likely be issued Monday.

What do I bet on (short answer) –  Buy YES shares, wait a week, meet me again at the winner circle on August 1st

What do I bet on (long answer) – The Constitution requires the US government to take a census of the population (i.e. count both legal citizens and illegal immigrants) every decade to gather data on the population living in the United States which, in turn, determines matters such as where and how government money is allocated for various programs. Lefties have cried foul on the Citizenship Question citing numerous studies that universally conclude that the Citizenship Question, if included in the 2020 Census, will lower the number of illegal immigrants who take the survey, thereby skewing the results and making them less accurate.

The DNC has already brought at least three lawsuits to stop this Department of Commerce from including this question. The case will come down to if the Supreme Court justices conclude that there was or was not a reasonable basis for including the Citizenship Question in the 2020 Census.  The Conservative side is arguing that there is a rational basis for including the Citizenship Question –to gather information on voting and therefore ensure that the voting rights act is being complied with.  The DNC side says nay!  The Voting Rights Act claim by the GOP is a pretext for the actual purpose, which is to skew population numbers and data to so that government money and programs will disproportionally benefit whitey.


But wait, there’s more. Recently, a GOP strategist died, and the lefties looted his hard-drive and uncovered an internal GOP study which recommended that the Citizenship Question be included to discourage illegal immigrants from participating and, as a result, divert more funding and government benefits to whitey. They claim this study is evidence of the true purpose of the Citizenship Question. The GOP responded with letter asserting that the Department of Commerce did not rely upon or even know about  the 2015 study. This is the legal equivalent of…

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Although the study was not part of the record considered by the Supreme Court, people have noted that the Supreme Court justices do have access to Google and the internet and may have accessed, and been persuaded by, this extra information. Additionally, a Maryland judge appears to be hinting that he will drop the hammer on the Citizenship Question even if the Supreme Court rules in favor of allowing it. 

Tune out the noise. Clean out your ears. Because Zoltar will show you the path to alpha. Despite the arguments described above, the Supreme Court will issue a 5-4 opinion, along party lines, which allows for the Citizenship Question to be included in the 2020 Census.  Here are the main reasons why-

  • Supreme Court justices tipped their hand during hearing: the questions (and the veracity of the questions) asked by the Supreme Court justices often signal what each justice’s opinion will be. I listened to the oral argument in this case that was most certainly so. Each conservative justice appeared to strongly side with allowing the Citizenship Question, while each DNC nominated justice made it quite clear that they believed the only reason to include the Citizenship Question was to benefit whitey.
  • The Supreme Court faced a case this year with almost the same legal issue: This case involves a legal issue that is almost identical to the legal issue involved in this year’s Muslim travel ban case (namely, both cases ask the Court to determine if the government exceeding its authority under law by when it did X).  In that case, the DNC challenged the legality of the Trump travel ban as exceeding the president’s authority. Team GOP argued that the travel ban served a legitimate purpose – protecting US Citizens from unvetted citizens from counties on a naughty list.  The Supreme Court, along party lines, ruled in favor of allowing the Trump travel ban in a 5-4 majority.  Expect the same justices to enter a 5-4 decision for the same reasons and arguments cited in their opinions in the Trump Travel ban case.
  • More reasons a 5-4 decision is imminent.

RGB recently gave a speech where she acknowledged that many 5-4 decisions will be coming out of the Supreme Court this month.  The Citizenship Question case will be one of those many 5-4 decisions.

RGB also signaled that she would be one of the 4 dissenting opinions by stating in that same speech.

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The Supreme Court has a historical pattern of scheduling its toughest, most controversial cases just before their break (July). The theory is that the SCOTUS intentionally crams these controversial cases in a short time period in an effort to mitigate the drama (see Kavanaugh shit show) by: (1) preventing the news media from fixating on a particular decision for too long by redirecting focus on the next blockbuster Supreme Court decision; and (2) saving these hot-button issue cases to just before SCOTUS break allows the justices to avoid awkward moments, elevator confrontations, and/or general stink eye from political adversaries while they are in public for numerous speaking engagements, appearances, and social events in the DC area. If this theory holds true, this case will be one of the many controversial 5-4 decisions that will be issued before the SC breaks at the end of this month.

Rule Cuck Panther sighting?

zoltar rule cuck panther

We do, in fact, have a Rules Cuck Panther alert on this one.  That is because the rules require that the Census Bureau “publicly state” that they intend “to print” 2020 Survey forms that include the Citizenship Question.

These rule requirements create a myriad of scenarios for a rule cuckening.  What if the Supreme Court issues a decision that allows for the citizenship question to be included (and the Census Bureau does include the Citizenship Question in the 2020 Census) BUT no one from the Census Bureau publicly confirms  that they intend “to print” the 2020 Census with the Citizenship Question?  What if a Supreme Court decision allowing the Citizenship Question is issued and an appropriate representative says something to the effect of “we are happy with the Supreme Court decision and will comply with its ruling”?  What if they publicly say that the question is included in the 2020 Census but they don’t specifically confirm that the forms are being “printed” out to include citizenship question? Is that enough to satisfy the rules?

Fear not, minions of Zoltar!  I laugh in the face of the Rule Cuck Panther and will stare her down, Crocodile Dundee style until she bends to my will.

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To be clear, this market will 100% resolve YES. Should the masses ignore my prophecies and panic sell Yes shares down a free fall descent into the rule cuck abyss, I shall return with a follow up post explaining why those people are dumb cucks and the alpha play is to buy even more Yes shares.  Until that time…those who trust in Zoltar will be rewarded.

rbg census free money

ZOLTAR  (22-0).

p.s. don’t eat pot cookies.


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6 thoughts on “ZOLTAR’S ATM: The Census Citizenship Question

  1. interesting, Zoltar!

    Why aren’t there more SCOTUS-related markets, other than when (and by whom) will a vacancy be created?

    1. To be clear, this market will still 100% resolve YES. It regretfully appears that the masses have ignored my prophecies and panic sold Yes shares down a free fall descent into the abyss. Therefore, as promised, I shall return with a follow up post explaining why those people are dumb cucks and the alpha play is to buy even more Yes shares. Until that time…those who trust in Zoltar will be rewarded.

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