NEWSLETTER: An Ode to Cocaine Mitch and San Fran Nan

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Those of you who have been with us since the beginning know that it is a scientific fact that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and GOP Godfather Mitch McConnell are the LeBron James and Steph Curry of their generation. Sure, we have seen some other 5-star talents come through the Hill these past 20 years but no one — not John Boehner, Paul Ryan, or even Barack Obama has been able to sustain Pelosi and McConnell’s level of play for literally decades. They are just that good at all the game’s fundamentals: strategy, fundraising, and absolutely trolling their rivals.

So before we get to the alpha, take a moment to savor these two pros in action. It was a rare week where we got to see some of their best stuff on display. For Leader McConnell, it was the chance to absolutely savage his likely Democratic challenger in 2020 the second she filed for the Dem primary.

What can I say, watching the Godfather dunk over Amy McGrath’s head is just poetry in motion.

And on the Democratic side, I was just loving how hard Speaker Pelosi was pounding the paint on rookie progressives Rep. Alex Ocasio-Cortez, Rep. Ilhan Omar, Rep. Rashida Tlaib, and Rep. Ayanna Pressley, who have been throwing shade on Pelosi’s leadership for months and attempted to take down her border security and aid package this last week.

pelosi dunk

Translation: If you want play hardball, you are going to get laid the f*ck out. Now go clean your room and Snapchat your girlfriends while the adults move some weight down Pennsylvania Avenue.

What a champion. I just love this woman and think she should have her own beef jerky brand, obviously G.O.A.T.

PELOSI GOAT

With her as inspiration, it is officially time to crush.

KEENDAWG.

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