Animals, I don’t know what you think but last night’s debate was a total bomb. I would honestly rather watch Jaws 4 again than that massive cowpie of political theater. There are only a few things worth mentioning:
(1) Beto O’Rourke is starting to sound like a Beto O’Rourke bot. That dude seriously only has one cadence and needs to be reprogrammed, ASAP. Maybe he can use the same company who has been designing Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand’s new political personality.
(2) The only thing that sparkled last night was John Delaney’s sweaty upper lip.
(3) I tried to day-trade some Mayor Pete Buttigieg shares but cashed-out at par. I was honestly getting less action on PredictIt than I got in high school. It was just brutal.
(4) The good news is that my bet that YouTube Star Beto O’Rourke wouldn’t speak Spanish hit hard (+55%!!!!) and I am 100 percent treating my office to Arby’s today.
(5) However, I’m not sure whether to hold or sell on this one in the 60s. Can one of you geniuses tell me the right move?