Betting on the Little Beto Who Cried “Wolf”

I am not a big fan of quitters. The only thing that Eminem, George W. Bush, and Bill O’Reilly all have in common is that all three were way better at their jobs when they still smashed beers. It is basically a scientific fact that real winners party. Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA) owns a winery; the only working class thing about Barack O’Bama was his cigarette addiction; and former Speaker of the House John Boehner crushed more bottles of red wine than the elves in Fantasia.

Image result for fantasia wine gif

Meanwhile, President Donald Trump has never had a drink in his life and his highest approval rating ever is 44 percent. Like I said, quitters are losers. But in the case of YouTube Star Beto O’Rourke, I am actually going to admit that on rare occasions, there are exceptions to the rules. This is due to the fact that by not quitting the 2020 Presidential campaign, Beto O’Rourke is on the way to possibly being the biggest loser in history. Everyone who is not high on bath salts 24/7 knows this, including O’Rourke, and I actually think that he is going to drop out of the 2020 race pretty soon.

I honestly just don’t know how much more abuse he can take. Beto O’Rourke has basically only contributed two things to the Dem Primary: (1) He has been an excellent punching bag for woke bandits making a point about white privilege; and (2) he created a moment that was Howard Dean-level strange when he came-in hot speaking Spanish during the Miami debate.

I have never experienced anything this awkward in my life, except for maybe popping a bone at a middle school dance during this song.

So for those of you who like to print money on PredictIt, the chance to profit off of O’Rourke’s forthcoming choice to quit is here:

beto senate

This to me is a no-brainer. Everything you need to know about this market was researched by an Ancient Greek lotion maker named Aesop. Anyway, he wrote this story called, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” and it totally reminds me of Beto because people are currently asking whether or not he is going to run for Senate, which would be the third federal election he’s tried to get people fired-up for in one year. This would be seriously dangerous for him and I re-wrote Aesop’s story to make my point:

The Boy Who Cried “Senate”

By Keendawg

beto cried wolf

There once was a Congressman who was bored in Texas. He sat on the Capitol hillside watching the political sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, “Senate! Senate! I am running for Senate!”

The voters came running up the hill to help the boy run for Senate. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found a loser who got crushed by Ted Cruz. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

“Don’t cry ‘I’m running for Senate’, Congressman,” said the voters, “when you know that Ted Cruz is going to beat you.” They went grumbling back down Capitol Hill.

Later, the boy sang out again, “President! President! I am running for President!” To his naughty delight, he watched the voters run up the hill to help him run for president.

When the voters saw Mayor Pete Buttigieg rip-off his whole brand and Julian Castro absolutely nuke him in the first debate, they sternly said, “Save your fundraising calls for when there is actually a race you can win! Don’t cry ‘President’ when everyone knows that Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, or Kamala Harris is going to win.”

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down Capitol Hill once more.

Later, he saw a race that he might actually be able to win – a Texas Senate campaign against Sen. John Cornyn during Trump’s re-election, where Trump could maybe piss off enough moderates for the Congressman to pull an upset. Aroused, the Congressman leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, “Cornyn! Cornyn! I’m running for Senate against John Cornyn!”

But the voters thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn’t come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn’t returned to Capitol Hill with his paperwork to file for the Senate campaign. They went up to the Capitol to find the boy. They found him weeping.

“I really had a chance. I could have won that one! I cried out, ‘Senate,’ Why didn’t you come?”

An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to Texas.

“We’ll help you look for your lost career in the morning,” he said, putting his arm around the youth, “Nobody believes a liar…even when he is telling the truth!

Beto O’Rourke definitely knows this and is not running for Senate. Now I will quote the world’s leading expert on Beto O’Rourke, which is me. As I wrote last year:

(2) Some dummies think that Beto will run for Senate versus Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) in 2020, instead of running for president. Yeah, right. Only if he’s a moron. Unlike Ted Cruz, people actually like John Cornyn and won’t come out of the woodwork to dump awful garbage on him. Also, Donald Trump will be on the ticket in 2020, which means that the lunatic vote that sat out the last election will be hitting the polls in full force. Beto won’t take the bait on this Senate race, because the odds of beating John Cornyn on-cycle versus Ted Cruz in a midterm are way worse.

And as I wrote last week:

I don’t think O’Rourke is a dummy but I do think he is 100 percent learning on the job when it comes to campaigning on the national level. What works at the Iglesia del Sagrada Corazon in Tyler, Texas, is not the same as what works on MSNBC. If he’s smart, O’Rourke will drop this part of the act. I think he’s smart, so I am taking the UNDER.

BTW, he did learn from his mistake. He did not speak Spanish. Which gets me to another prophecy:

There are a lot of people who think Beto O’Rourke is a terrible candidate who can’t learn from his mistakes. That is fake news. He is only a terrible candidate.

Basically, the point I am trying to make is that Beto O’Rouke might have a grassroots style that comes from him being a former Indie rock hardo, but he makes all of his decisions the way a normal politician would. My best guess as to what happens is one I got from one of my informants in D.C., which is that O’Rourke drops out of this race and gives his endorsement to whatever Dem he thinks can win in hopes of getting a cabinet appointment. Running for office a third time in 13 months for a low-odds win like beating Cornyn is almost as dumb as glueing yourself into a Kamakaze plane and trying to sink an American aircraft carrier. There is just not coming back from that kind of L, ever. Beto O’Rourke is NOT a moron. He is done running for office for a while.

beto no

KEENDAWG.

Liked it? Take a second to support Keendawg on Patreon!

Leave a Reply