The GOP Bachelor: DOL Nominee Gene Scalia Will Get 51 Roses from the Senate

One of my favorite facts about the Trump Administration is that in its 2.5 year history, ABC has made three seasons of the hit TV show The Bachelor. That is an extremely aggressive production schedule and curiously, the same number of Secretaries of Labor that Trump will have appointed if his current nominee, Gene Scalia, gets confirmed. That’s right, today we are talking about —

GOP bachelor

I honestly think that The Bachelor is a great way to think about Trump’s cabinet picks because he absolutely loves to hand them a rose one week and then take it away as soon as he has one bad date with them. He has done this with his noms for Secretary of Defense (Patrick Shanahan), U.N. Ambassador (Heather Nauert), and Director of Nation Intelligence (John Ratcliffe). And even when the Republican Pope aka Mitch McConnell blesses these marriages, Trump can be very fast to divorce his cabinet members as soon as people stop paying attention and move on to another story in the Fake News Media (FNM). Does this remind you of anything else?

And in the FNM:

Screen Shot 2019-08-14 at 6.03.17 PMScreen Shot 2019-08-14 at 6.02.50 PM

 

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That’s what I thought.

Our chance to make money off of this is here: 

DOL confirmation

The second fun fact about Trump’s Department of Labor appointments is that the last cabinet officer there, Sec. Alex Acosta, lost his job due to the fact that he helped Jeffrey Epstein cover-up his child raping while prosecuting Epstein for other sex crimes in Florida. This is important bc as Secretary of Labor nominee Gene Scalia makes his rounds on Capitol Hill to collect the 51 roses he needs to get hitched to Trump, Senate Democrats are probably just going to ignore him entirely and focus on prepping for the “Women Tell All Episode” of this season’s GOP Bachelor.

women tell all

BTW, “Women Tell All” is what I am calling Scalia’s confirmation hearing. That’s because Senate Democrats, like non-white contestants on The Bachelor, know that they are going to lose, so they are more focused on their chance to throw shade on the Bachelor before he consummates his relationship with Trump. I 100-percent think we are due for some Must-See-TV when HELP Committee Democrats like Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Sen. Bernie Sanders use Gene Scalia’s confirmation as an excuse to rip on Republicans for completely blowing it on his predecessor, Acosta. They will give Scalia a kiss on the cheek and wish him luck on being more than just another ass-slapping Republican who will ignore child raping as long as the person doing it is cool with lowering rich peoples’ taxes. It is basically going to be a masterclass in Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders’ using a Senate hearing to get some great video clips for their fundraising emails and I am extremely fired-up to witness it live. However, none of this has anything to do with Scalia so I actually think it matters less than Jordan Rogers feud with big brother Aaron.

jordan rogers

Long story short, Gene Scalia’s confirmation is going to be an uncomfortable episode of The GOP Bachelor, but I think that Godfather aka Mitch McConnell just wants to get it over with. As I have said, Congress basically has nothing to do for the rest of the year now that there is a two year budget in place. And an adult like Mitch McConnell knows that Senators, like kids, need something to do or else they will start playing with fireworks and/or illegally soliciting campaign contributions and hookers, so he’ll push this nomination through while his committee chairmen are prepping more substantial legislation for the end of the year. Needless to say, I am long on this one.

DOL confirmation yes

KEENDAWG.

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