ALPHA ALERT: It is Feeding SZN for Elizabeth Warren Haters

Monsters, I was getting caught-up on the news and I could not help but notice that everyone is getting extremely zonked on Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s presidential campaign. I assumed this was due to the fact that she had taken another DNA test that proved she was more than 0.1 percent Native American and also more than 0.1 percent likely to beat Joe Biden in Iowa and New Hampshire. But it turned out I was wrong and that she is just having a banger of a month on the campaign trail, which I think is a bunch of hooey. Let’s have a look.

axelrod campaign

Whoa, Axe. She doesn’t date outside her tribe.

warren donations

How many votes has she gotten?

chill out warren

No one will give a crap if she gets blanked in Iowa and New Hampshire.

But then I checked PredictIt and realized that some people do actually give a crap about all these bogus stories and are acting like farm animals. According to PredictIt, this is now a fact:

warren over priced

31 cents is an all-time high for Warren and it rivals what Joe Biden was trading at on the eve of his first arrest by the PC Cops for hair groping while he was Veep. BTW, here is a chart to put this in perspective.

Screen Shot 2019-08-17 at 9.10.59 PM


Joe Biden, who RCP lists as a 13-point favorite in the Democratic field, is currently trading at 26 cents. Elizabeth Warren is trading at 30. This bull run for Warren is 99 percent driven by the Fake News Media needing something to yap about during the summer when there is jack shit going on. Remind yourself of where we are in this election cycle: August of 2019, almost a full year before the Democratic National Convention where the nomination will be decided. In the long run, none of these stories actually matter. Last month the Fake News Media was yapping about Kamala Harris. The month before that they were yapping about Mayor Pete. And for the whole year before that they were basically writing folk songs about Beto O’Rourke, whose campaign is looking more banged-up these days than Winston Churchill after lunch with the Queen.

Image result for winston churchill drinking

I am a simple person. If you know me, then you know that I only drive American cars (my license is currently suspended), I have never shopped for clothes at a store that does not also sell motor oil, and the last person who offered me “aioli” got punched in the face. So I will keep my advice simple: there is no good reason why Sen. Warren’s shares have exploded and her actual valuation should be 20-24 cents. So this is obviously a golden opportunity to pickup some NO shares while the markets are this out of whack. This is my plan for any shares I say at 70 cents or lower:

whale gif final text

Volume, bitch. Now pass the sardines.


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