As I have said, I have been ghosting you all week because I am in Toon Town aka Washington, D.C., mining for gold. One of the rumors that staffers here are passing around like mono at a 10th grade party is that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo will be announcing a Senate campaign as early as Friday. I am obviously bought-in on this because I have made a bet in the below market and am looking forward to just cranking out ingots of gold.
The bad news is that Pompeo’s possible choice to run for Senate isn’t a gimme. That is because the Hatch Act, which is the law that would force most federal employees to resign from office before they hit the campaign trail, doesn’t apply to cabinet secretaries. I personally think that this is hilarious and a classic move. Only in Toon Town do powerful people pass strict ethics laws that in no way effect them. I am honestly just dying laughing that this law basically makes it impossible for low-level government employees to challenge powerful incumbents without quitting their day jobs first. If Congress was as good at protecting normal people’s jobs as their own, then China would still be just a big ball of rice and fortune cookies. Give me a break.
That said, I am pretty sure that if Mike Pompeo does run, he’ll resign by the end of the year. Back in the day the Secretary of State’s job was basically the same as being Nick Saban’s defensive coordinator, which is the fancy way of saying that whoever had the job was basically in the waiting room to be the next head coach of the #1 super power on earth. The best example of this is Kirby Smart who is absolutely crushing at SEC powerhouse Georgia.
Thomas Jefferson, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, James Monroe, and James Buchanan might have been too rich and powerful to resign from the Secretary of State post to run for President, but it feels silly for Mike Pompeo not to quit to run for a Senate gig. Again, this feels more like being Nick Saban’s offensive coordinator, which is a totally different gig than running Alabama’s Department of Defense. The best example to illustrate this distinction is former ‘Bama offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin, who got fired mid-season when he got restless and is currently coaching at some provisionally accredited state college called Florida Atlantic University.
Also, Mike Pompeo and Kirby Smart are way fatter than Kiffin, so this metaphor totally works.
Long story short, I am betting these rumors are true and that Pompeo resigns shortly after announcing his campaign. I am keeping my entry price under 50 because that is probably as high as things will pump on a possible campaign announcement from Pompeo and there is a lot that needs to happen to clear this market for victory.