Dem Debate: They Took Away Our Straws, Will They “Buyback” Our Guns?

As you are probably aware, there are two things that Democrats are 100 percent focused on taking away from the American people. The first one is straws. The second one is guns. I personally believe that removing plastic straws from big cities is a violation of the 4th Amendment due to the fact that it is an unlawful search and seizure, and because paper straws suck. I also think it is hilarious since I live in LA where most of the population needs a straw to stick up its nose on Friday and Saturday night.

stay woke blow

That said, I do not own any firearms but if having your guns taken away is anywhere near as bad as having your straws taken away, then I too would be getting extremely jacked-up whenever politicians mention gun control. Politicians definitely know this. The emotional reaction to gun control is one of the reasons why I think this market at the Houston Democratic Debate is amazing, because very few Democrats have ever had the balls to tell the American people that they are coming for their guns, just like they came for their straws.

mandatory buy back market

First of all, I fully expect debate moderators George Stephanopolous and David Muir to use some of the debate’s three hours to poke the candidates about their views on gun control. I am also 100 percent positive that woke mad dogs like Kamala Harris and Beto O’Rourke are going to just salivate at the chance to talk about how dumb they think owning guns is. But I am pretty suspicious about whether any candidate will say the exact phrase “mandatory buyback(s)” during their responses. This is mostly because a political candidate talking to voters about “mandatory buybacks” is as weird as a car salesman talking to customers about “four-door sedans.” These are just not phrases that people use in real life. These are phrases that people inside of the business use but are more un-spoken in the real world than French.

YouTube Star Beto O’Rourke is probably the most famous supporter of mandatory buybacks. This is actually hilarious though, because I cannot find a single example of him using the phrase, “mandatory buyback(s).” When asked by a Fake News Media (FNM) reporter about his views, O’Rourke answered that, “Americans who own AR-15s… will have to sell them to the government.”

Another time O’Rourke told the FNM that, “every single one of those AR-15s and AK-47s will be bought back so they’re not on our streets, not in our homes, [and] do not take the lives of our fellow American.” This was the headline.

beto fake news buyback2

Then there was another Fake News Media publication which reported that Sen. Kamala Harris also supports “Mandatory Buybacks.” But the actual words out of her mouth were: “I think it’s a good idea… We have to work out the details – there are a lot of details – but I do. We have to take those guns off the streets.”

kamala smh guns

And Sen. Cory Booker, who is the last big chief when it comes to mandatory gun buybacks, answered some FNM talking head’s question about this topic in an equally squirrelly way:

Once again, not a single mention of “mandatory buybacks.”

The fact that no living human in history has ever used the term “mandatory buyback” in conversation felt too good to be true, so I put it out there to the boys and got an interesting response from NineInchN in LA. He told me that the only way he could see this topic coming up would be if a candidate wanted to say very clearly that he did not support, “mandatory buyback(s).” An example of this would be if a centrist like Joe Biden said, “it’s not a mandatory buyback. It’s a program to purchase assault weapons and take them off the streets.” Boom, you see the danger here. But Joe Biden is not searching for reasons to look more conservative in front of Democratic Primary voters. If anything, he has his consultants working overtime to purge his “problematic” past of being amenable to compromise and blowing off Anita Hill. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised at all if he commissioned some non-gender binary immigrants to make him a rainbow-colored burka just to prove to the psychos who actually vote in primaries that he is their guy.

Basically, in case you can’t tell, I think this is a gimme at 50/50 and am betting NO under 60 cents.

mandatory buy back market no

I can’t wait to print some money and then shotgun a few beers. I just hope that if the Democrats disappear all our guns just like they disappeared all our straws, I am still allowed to compare everything that kicks ass to shooting something. I definitely do not want to live in a world where I have to “Non-Violent Social Protest” a few beers whenever I want to get sloppy watching Cops, or where half-baked rappers like Machine Gun Kelly have to go by stupid names of things woke people like, such as “Pole-Caught Tuna with Herbed Crostini Kelly.” That is just not an America worth living in.


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