Rumble in the Impeachment Jungle: ZOLTAR vs. DOMAHHH is ON!!
Animals, the rumors are true. Star Spangled Gamblers is hosting a heavyweight showdown between two of PredictIt’s most notorious traders: Domahhh, the defending champ, and Zoltar, the challenger.
This matchup has all of the boys talking:
Made a straight up bet with Zoltar/@TruthBomber_ that impeachment happens in 2019. My $695 to his $850; this is soon to be memorialized in a @keendawgSSG post.
Just a Liddle' side action between friends.
— Domer (@Domahhhh) September 28, 2019
domah knows what he's doing
— Jason Pipkin (@jipkin) September 29, 2019
— iSavage_PI ???? (@iSavage_PI) September 29, 2019
False. This will be a fight to death between two mortal enemies. On Jan 1st sir… https://t.co/Jdo3yC1uiz pic.twitter.com/S4uRTBDX0w
— Zoltar (@TruthBomber_) September 29, 2019
Here are the rules:
ZOLTAR has put up an $850 MAX-OUT — 55 cents on NO — that Trump will not be impeached in 2019. DOMAHHH has put up $695 — 45 cents on YES — that he will. I am holding the cash in ESCROW and will we await the conclusion.
The winner will also have to change his Twitter and PI avatar to the words, “I AM ZOLTAR’S BITCH,” or “I AM DOMAHHH’S BITCH” for the month of January, and will Tweet a photo declaring that they are a “filthy cuck.” However, Domahhh has stipulated that, “I don’t actually care about your avatar or tweet… I could not possibly care less about a sign.” This is extremely on brand for this sphinx of a man (or woman).
I personally cannot think of a more meaningful event in politics than this rumble in the impeachment jungle. As another PI legend, who wishes to remain anonymous, told me in my DMs:
I couldn’t agree more. Now let’s talk about the fight
THE CHALLENGER: ZOLTAR 
Official record on SSG:Â 22-1.
Fighting style: Brawler. This bro is the George Foreman of gambling degens. He has zero sense of decency and has never played defense in his life. He swings at anything that moves, maxes-out on every punch and play, and runs his mouth against all of his opponents.
Greatest win: The “Will Trump Testify in 2018” marketplace, where he committed an absolute bank robbery by accurately predicting that the President would provide written testimony to Robert Mueller’s Russia probe, which no one else even thought was a possibility.
Greatest loss:Â 2019 U.S. Census market, where he predicted that the Citizenship Question would appear on ballots and got absolutely slaughtered by the Rules Cuck Panther.
Comments at this fight’s weigh-in:Â
ZOLTAR: “Many of you who’ve interacted with Domer have regretfully discovered that he has a mild form of social autism…. since my family also has experience in this area, it is with a heavy heart that I must restrain my comments for this showdown and instead take the higher road of a gentleman.
Therefore, to my dearest Domer, I say to you only this—- it’s time for you to learn a hard lesson, Mr. retard dumb-dumb poopy pants. You’ve wandered outside of your wheelhouse of tweet markets, RCP poll drops, and counting tooth picks, and somehow wandered into the real political prediction world where I am a god. Even the Cabal can’t save you now. Soon you will kneel before Zoltar and open wide while I drop loads of truth all over your enigma decoding face. The only points you will score before your judgment day will be on the autism scale.  On January 1st..
IN OTHER WORDS:
THE DEFENDING CHAMP: DOMAHHH
Official SSG record:Â This is Domahhh’s first league game but he has been crushing his gambling opponents since way before Star Spangled Gamblers existed.
Fighting style:Â Defensive counter-puncher. Domahhh is the Floyd Mayweather of professional gamblers. He out thinks, out strategizes, and savagely fades over-priced lines, then slips his punches in when you least expect it. Do not f*ck with Domer.
Greatest win: Too many to count. If you have ever lost money on PredictIt, there is a good chance he was on the other side.
Greatest losses:Â Unknown. He is a sphinx.
Comments at this fight’s weigh-in:Â
DOMAHHH: “Zoltar stepped to with some embarrassing takes about impeachment and, unfortunately, it’s gonna be drilled into him the hard way that he knows even less about this topic than he does the US census.
But, it’s not all bad news for Zoltar, because all of my winnings will be spent as ridiculously as possible and I’ll make sure to send him pictures of what his money is buying. So he will have that to look forward to.”
IN OTHER WORDS:
MY TAKE:
I personally am going to put my feet up and crank some beers to watch this brawl. I just can’t wait to see these champs land some haymakers. Can Domer survive Zoltar’s political pugilism? Or has he baited the biggest mouth in political gambling into a fight that he has zero chance at winning and at odds that are shittier than K-Pop? All I know is that someone is going to get piped come January 1. Check back for updates as things unfold.
By the way, in case you thought this fight was a joke, the boys have backed-up the truck.
We are not in the business of joking around here.
Who do you like you to win this one? Let us know in the comments.
And if you know a trader you want to challenge, DM me.
KEENDAWG.
