Dem Debate, Who Speaks Least: The Case for the Field

I just posted about this market, and how Andrew Yang is the favorite to speak the least.

least speaking time market

But I do not think it is a good idea to buy him in the 40s. Here is a rundown of all the other contestants for least speaking time.

least time

Sen. Cory Booker

I honestly think that the only other job that Cory Booker could possibly have other than U.S. Senator is Lyft driver. That is because he has an amazing ability to just talk constantly even when on one is listening. I would bet at least $1000 dollars that when Sen. Booker got his wisdom teeth yanked out, he was still raving at the dentist about the Federal Highway Trust Fund. I honestly cannot imagine being married to some one that chatty and apparently no one else on planet earth can either. Cory Booker is not finishing last in speaking time.

Rich Guy Tom Steyer

Like Andrew Yang, Rich Guy Tom Steyer has no voting record for the moderators or fellow Democrats to pick on and is way too irrelevant for someone like Joe Biden or Elizabeth Warren to punch down at. That said, Rich Guy Tom Steyer does have one big thing going for him, which is that he is in favor of a lot of controversial stuff that people will wind up talking about. Let’s go down the list:

— Rich Guy Tom Steyer has been an extremely loud voice in favor of impeaching Donald Trump, which is sure to come up tonight.

— Rich Guy Tom Steyer is also basically attempting to buy this election, which I bet someone will point out.

— Rich Guy Tom Steyer is from the world of private equity which Elizabeth Warren is more opposed to than nuclear war.

— And Rich Guy Tom Steyer is a rich guy, which means he is probably going to talk over everyone and assume he is more important than them.

That said, Tom Steyer is the definition of a fringe candidate so I just don’t see the moderators giving him any time to talk, other than a token question or two. My prediction is that he just keeps interrupting the frontrunners and calling them patsies for not supporting impeachment like he does. If you ask me, the most over-priced bet on debate night is Steyer YES at 25-30 cents for least speaking time. This bro has literally spent millions of dollars of his own money on this campaign. Why would he not speak up?

Rep. Tulsi Gabbard

I think that at this point no one really gives a crap about Tulsi Gabbard except people like me who think that she is an absolute smoke.

gabbard surf 1

That said, I think that Rep. Gabbard will want to say, “told you so” about the genocide that the Turkish Army just kicked-off in Syria; and she will also probably pipe-up about general DNC corruption and how she almost boycotted this debate because of it. But I am feeling like the DNC has triaged her campaign into the morgue and will have the moderators just pass her over for someone who still has a chance and doesn’t actively piss them off. I also think that Joe Biden, who is a foreign policy specialist, will use-up all the Syria time and want to focus his attacks on Elizabeth Warren. That means I will not be surprised if Tulsi is riding the bench exactly when she would like to be on the field.

Julian Castro

I honestly have no clue what Julian Castro is for or if anyone actually plans on voting for him but he is 100 percent the heel of the DNC. Without fail, every debate this bro just bangs his chest and starts drop-kicking whoever is ahead in the polls. In the first debate, Beto O’Rouke’s campaign got more wrecked by Julian Castro than David Hasselhoff’s family did by this cheeseburger:

And in the second debate, Castro basically told Joe Biden that he needed to quit running for president and sign up for some water aerobics classes at the old folks home.

I’ll tell you what, love him or hate him, Julian Castro knows how to stay in the game. He’ll find a way to run his mouth again and won’t be finishing in last. What a hero.

Sen. Amy Klobuchar

Massive value buy here. Sen. Klobuchar could definitely finish last in speaking time. This is due to the fact that most of America has forgotten that she is running for president and that she is extremely nice to everyone but her staff members, so I do not see her throwing a fit to get more speaking time and treating her opponents like trash to get the mic.

If I had to rank these, I would say from LEAST speaking time to MOST:

1 – Tulsi Gabbard

2 – Amy Klobuchar

3 – Tom Steyer

4 – Cory Booker

KEENDAWG.

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