NEWSLETTER: Everyone in D.C. Feels Left Out and Is Being a Baby

The following is the bonus column for our newsletter subscribers, which originally appeared on October 25. I eventually get around to posting these bonus columbs here. You should sign-up for our weekly mailing so that you get it sooner.

One thing that I have been noticing lately is that everyone in politics is feeling left out. This week, Trump’s Ukraine ambassador gave some extremely searing testimony about how he felt left out from making diplomatic decision in his own embassy. This was due to the fact that Rudy Giuliani and his squad of MAGA mad dogs were making decisions through “unofficial” channels instead.

But just outside of the hearing room, some other people were feeling left out.

new phone who dis

They were the House Republicans, who said they had a right to hear the testimony that alarmed Trump officials aka Deep State Cucks aka Public Servants Protecting Our Democratic Institutions were giving against the President; and that Nancy Pelosi should share the transcript with the American public.

Meanwhile, House Democrats said that no one was being left out due to the fact that the Republicans invented the rules that barred them from the proceedings during John Boehner’s time as Speaker of the House.

But then John Boehner took a break from crushing bottles of red wine and chain smoking cigs to say that he had been left out of this conversation.

boehner bong fake news

He said that the Democrats’ story was fake news. He was also probably pickled-up on pinot when he wrote the rules so cry me a river.

Meanwhile, on the campaign side, Hillary Clinton was feeling left out of the news cycle and teased the possibility of sliding into the 2020 primary like I slide into Rep. Tulsi Gabbard’s DMs.

That is why on PredictIt, I have been feeling left out because I was not one of the geniuses who spent this week shoveling ingots of gold into my bank account thanks to A+ foresight. Yes, I am jealous AF of the money-making players who have been holding cheap “Will Hillary Run – YES” shares for months. Their prediction that the former Secretary of State couldn’t go a whole election cycle without some attention has turned out to be a better investment than Facebook stock in 2010. I am sure they are selling these shares at 3X cost (~20 cents) to the farm animals who actually think she is going to run.

Oh well. The whole point of this website and newsletter is to keep you from missing the alpha that true political genius creates. Let’s keep working together so that no one is ever left out again. Thanks to all of you for joining our community and reading this newsletter. If you like it, please share it with a friend.


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