Tonight Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders will debate each other and I, Zoltar, am going to show you how to commit a total robbery in this market:
In his only 2 person debate (veep debate against Paul Ryan) Joe Biden had almost the same amount of speaking time as Paul Ryan. However, the context of that debate is much different than tonight. Specifically, Biden’s debate against Ryan followed Obama shitting the bed and losing to Mitt Romney in an epic upset victory for the Morman GOP traitor. As such, Biden came out swinging, interrupting Ryan on many occassins, with the help of the CNN moderators, and leaving Ryan’s message that night confusing and incomplete.
Tonight presents an entirely different backdrop. First, father time has turned today’s Biden into a man who might not currently know where he is. Today Biden’s blood flows with Ensure instead of the tiger blood of yesteryear. Looking at his prior presidential debates, supports this reality. Biden averaged at the bottom half of candidate speaking times (even though he was front runner who faced the most attacks from other candidates) with his answers often stopping before the answer time limits with an – “oh my lights on, ill stop (awkwar pause). On the other hand, Bernie was always in a race to the finish against Warren for most speaking time because he consistently plowed through debate answer time limts while ignoring the pleas of the moderators to stop talking,.
Second, after Super Tuesday gave Biden a nearly insurmountable delegate lead, Biden now has everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain in tonight’s debate. As it now stands, Biden will literally get the DNC nomination unless he refers to one of the CNN moderators tonight with a racial slur. In order to minimize the risks of such a collapse, Biden’s strategy will be to talk as little as possible. CNN moderators and the DNC think Bernie is the antichrist and will both be in the bag for Biden tonight. So expect to see the CNN moderators help execute Biden’s run out the clock gameplan by accepting his short non-answers, interrupting his gaffes, and encouraging Bernie to ramble on as much as possible. This one won’t be close, Bernie wins by a mile.
Those who trust in Zoltar will be rewarded.