RBG Has Cancer. Does the USA Have Cancer?

Last week, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg made an official statement about how she was undergoing cancer treatment for what felt like the 500th time. According to her release:

On May 19, I began a course of chemotherapy (gemcitabine) to treat a recurrence of cancer. A periodic scan in February followed by a biopsy revealed lesions on my liver… My most recent scan on July 7 indicated significant reduction of the liver lesions and no new disease… I will continue bi-weekly chemotherapy to keep my cancer at bay, and am able to maintain an active daily routine. Throughout, I have kept up with opinion writing and all other Court work. I have often said I would remain a member of the Court as long as I can do the job full steam. I remain fully able to do that.

Now, let me say something that is very important. I personally am 100 percent in favor of being a degenerate. This is one of the main reasons why my only hobbies are slamming Modelos with the Boys, gambling, and crushing-up Adderrall pills. But I want to be very clear that I do not want to give anyone the impression that I am some psycho vulture hovering over a sick person and hoping they’re going to die. First of all, that is gross. And second of all, there is not enough money on PredictIt to make it worth being that big of a loser.

But I saw one of the Boys post about this issue on Twitter and think it would make an awesome blog:

Why would the future of the country depend on RBG living until Inauguration day?

The main reason is that there are lots of people in America who think that Donald Trump is an illegitimate president who has appointed a bunch of bums to the court. We need a flashback here to build the case for why this is:

First, in 2016, Donald Trump got elected president despite the fact that Hillary won the popular vote. A lot of people thought this only happened because Trump was secretly slurping on Putin’s D.

And speaking of Ds, at the time time as this election was unfolding, President Obama was trying to seat Merrick Garland on the Supreme Court. If he accomplished this, the Democratic Party would have scored a liberal majority there for the first time in ages. But scoring was not in the cards for Obama due to the fact that Mitch McConnell had been cock blocking him in the Senate for 8 years. He gave Dems major blue balls by citing the “Biden Rule” in explaining why Garland would not be confirmed:

So in 2017, when Trump took office, he and Cocaine Mitch “stole” Merrick Garland’s seat on the Supreme Court and gave it to Justice Neil Gorsuch.

After that, in 2018, there there was the whole Brett Kavanaugh thing. TBH this was so ugly that I have blocked it out. All I really remember is that we were basically one Senate Judiciary Committee hearing away from Kavanaugh ripping his shirt and tie off and challenging his nemesis, Sen. Kamala Harris, to an arm wrestling match to settle the question of whether or not he was rapey 30 years ago. It was really bad.

And now if RBG resigns or dies, we would be in a situation where:

  • The liberal Beyonce is gone, which would be sad for its own reasons.
  • Trump, who is probably going to get slaughtered in November, would be able to replace a liberal judge with a conservative one. So;
  • A Republican president “stole” an election by slupring on Putin’s D; then “stole” three Supreme court seats when really… if you are a hardcore Democrat… you are thinking that Hillary should have been president and Merrick Garland should have been seated… and the court should have been “liberal”.. now you are living in some weird quasi-fascistic reality of America where the country is being run by a man-child who literally spends his days eating McDonalds while watching Fox News and shitposting on Twitter. That’s the President.

So yeah, I think it would be brutal if RBG died.

Also, it would turbocharge all of these bets:

So let me answer definitively, does the future of the USA rest on RBG living for 6 more months?

I personally think this is fake news. I fully admit that all of us have to die at some point in our lives, but I 100 percent hope that RBG can hold on until January 2021. That way Joe Biden can replace her on the Supreme Court with Alyssa Milano or Greta Thunberg through regular order, and the country won’t have to go through another gut-wrenching confirmation process.

But if you consider how long it takes to appoint a Supreme Court Justice, the truth is that we are nearly out of time already. At a full sprint, seating a judge on the High Court takes 2.5-3 months. Here is the timeline for the past four justices:

JusticeYearNominatedConfirmed
Sotomayor2009May 26Aug 6
Kagan2010May 10August 5
Gorsuch2017January 31April 7
Kavanaugh2018July 9October 6

So RBG doesn’t have to last until Inauguration Day. She really just has to hang in there until Halloween. At that point, all the ghosts of national divison will be spooked by her indominatbale spirit, and her future replacement will lurk in 2021 or beyond.

As for these bets:

But if Trump does get to appoint someone else, who would it be?

If there is an open Supreme Court seat before the election (Alito and Thomas have been rumored to consider retirement too), I fully expect Trump to nominate someone for pure political reasons knowing they will never get through. That means there is a 100 percent chance that this person will be a woman and/or a minority, and their candidacy will be mostly designed to troll Democrats who will try to block their appointment using the “McConnell Rule.”

Now that’s juicy.

KEENDAWG.

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