Don’t Be VP Clueless

Every once in a while there is a story that is such obvious fake news that I begin to wonder if I am the one taking crazy pills. Lately, that story has been the, “Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA) is now a finalist to be Joe Biden’s Vice President.” You might have seen this popping-up on the internet:

Karen Bass for VP? Are you kidding me? A heartbeat away from the presidency? That is literally insane. And while I’m telling you why, I’m also going to empty a full pitcher of knowledge on you about where I think this VP race is today.

DON’T BE VP CLUELESS

Here is a brief list of reasons why betting on Rep. Karen Bass to be Vice President is literally dumber than betting that the Halloween movie franchise actually ended wit the “final installment” that came out in 2018.

We just had a Democratic presidential primary where the nation got to know lots of people who would make good vice presidents.

Hello, World. Remember those 20 person debates last year? America got to know a lot of great candidates and Karen Bass wasn’t one of them. Even better for Biden, America also got exposed to their warts. So:

  • Karen Bass did not run for president like every other Democrat in America, so no one knows who she is; and,
  • Karen Bass didn’t get vetted by the public, because she didn’t run.

Ergo, Biden will get very little out of nominating this total stranger, and she brings more risk since no major campaign has ever exposed her warts.

Karen’s Bass’s Leadership Resume is Only Good at the State Level

One of the most hilarious things about Karen Bass is that by far the biggest job she has ever had was Speaker of the California House. This is actually not a troll at all. California has a bigger GDP than England. So running California’s legislature is like running a European nation’s.

But her federal experience is more average than an Imagine Dragon’s album. For example, Rep. Bass is on the Intelligence and Judiciary Committees, which are places that partisan bums hang out because they don’t have the game to get on the “A-committees” with real power. I mean, these are committees that are run by Adam Schiff/Devin Nunes (Intelligence) and Jerry Nadler/Jim Jordan (Judiciary).

Judging by the people in charge of these two bodies, I think that it is fair to say that you either have to be a Stalinist or someone who ate a serious amount of paint chips as a child to move up on them. And Rep. Bass is pretty far down the depth charts on THOSE committees.

REMEMBER, we are talking about the Vice Presidency here. Not a gubernatorial or senatorial race. This is a big deal and every candidate is being judged against every possible candidate in the land, from Disney CEO Bob Iger to former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Yes, Karen Bass is in charge of the House Congressional Black Caucus (CBC)

But that is not the same thing as being in charge of the Democratic Party, or being a part of the House Democratic Caucus’s actual leadership.

HOW DOES THIS FIT INTO THE BIG PICTURE?

I think that right now I am only holding Tammy Duckworth at 3 cents to be VP. Everything else is fake news.

The truth is that I think Joe Biden boned himself early on by saying that he would only pick a woman to be his Vice President. I think the fact that he is even talking about Karen Bass shows how un-excited he is with the options at his disposal. If Biden had been less of a bonehead, he could be high-fiving Maverick and Goose style with Sen. Cory Booker right now — the perfect running mate. But instead, his March pledge to pick a female, plus the George Floyd situation, has pretty much boxed him into picking a woman who is a minority. And since this is a gambling blog, I’m going to need to tell the truth about that: the list of female minorities who are ready for the presidency is slim AF.

Let’ review:

I have said for a while that Kamala Harris’s chances are basically 0 percent. She triggers white people way too much and is mean AF publicly. I think she’s done. But I am also a huge wimp because I sold my short on her at a loss.

So don’t take my advice there.

Val Demmings has no meaningful experience for the VP, at least when you compare her to the field. Everyone in Congress had a police chief/state legislator/former governor gig before they got there.

The only remaining candidates who make sense for VP are:

Susan Rice — West Wing experience and no one cares about her role in “Benghazi” anymore.

Honestly, the only people who still give a sh*t about Benghazi are probably so deep into 4Chan that they will be like those Japanese soldiers who were still hiding out in the 1960s, 20 years after the Pacific War was over. Basically, I think that the Susan Rice haters in 2020 are exclusively people who are making frog memes on 4Chan and are probably too lazy to actually vote.

Someone Biden likes? Yup. Someone who’s done a big job before? Yup. Someone who “checks all the boxes”? Yup.

Tammy Duckworth — everyone likes her, she is a veteran, and she isn’t white. She comes from a big state. I mean, what’s not to like?

That said, I don’t really understand the Democratic Party anymore, so wtf do I know. I’ve just got 1000 shares of Duckworth sitting around that I want to sell at 40. So let’s pump that and get it done, boys.

Also, Karen Bass for VP is fake news.

Also I don’t know what’s going on, this VP race makes no sense.

Good luck.

KEENDAWG.

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