Yes, Trump’s Tax Returns Are a Betting Opportunity

If you are enough of a psycho to gamble on politics, then I am 99 percent sure that you are awarethat The New York Times has gotten its inky hands on 20 years of Trump’s tax returns.

The fact that the #1 Fake News Media (FNM) publication has Trump’s taxes has serious implications. The most relevant one to everyday Americans is that old hippy ladies with cats will officially need something new to say about politics other than, “show me his tax returns.” Sorry to all of the Aunt Zelda’s of the world for that.

Another big implication is that once people digest the headlines that Trump the “billionaire” and “Leader of the Free Wold” is mostly just a leader in losing millions of dollars on bogus real estate deals, then Republicans will have to explain one of two very uncomfortable things:

(1) That Trump is such a beta that he would lose money running a lemonade stand even if he had the cutest, mostly freckly kids in the world working the register; or

(2) That the tax code is a joke and any corporation that can afford a $500/hr accountant can find a way to beat it and look broke AF.

However, I do not think this second point will be a popular one in Washington, due to the fact that liberals love to cheat on their taxes too:

Suck on that Big Oil.

But for political bettors, there is an even bigger implication to Trump’s taxes leaking, and Zoltar has been chirping about it for months.

This is because there is lots of evidence that the New York Attorney General and other members of the Woke Revolutionary Guard are going to attempt to use Trump’s tax records to charge him with financial crimes and potentially put him in jail. And of all people, Trump knows how hard it is to chill the public out once it starts chanting, “Lock him up!” So having these tax returns out is definitely going to move the needle on Trump’s deliberation re: whether or not to use his Constitutional authority as president to pardon himself of any possible crimes… which you can bet on here:

We talk about this extensively in our forthcoming podcast. But to get you caught up, here’s Zoltar raising the issue over the past few months, plus a sneak preview of where the self-pardon issue is headed to next:

And a sneak preview of TWO conversations we have about this in our forthcoming podcasts here:

Just remember, there is also a chance that Trump resigns before pardoning himself. In that version, on his last day in the Oval Office, Trump would reach into the Resolute Desk, hand VP Mike Pence the keys to the presidency, but keep the Mason jar his balls have been in since 2017. Trump would then tell Pence he could have his balls back once he’d pardoned him for any alleged crimes.

This is a complicated legal argument that I am too dumb to make and won’t even tackle right now. But get ready for more of this on our next pod.

KEENDAWG.

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