A Historic Week of Drivel
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Animals,
 One of the best things about following politics closely is latching onto small moments that no one actually cares about and assuming that history is about to change massively because of them. And while this week has included one event that probably will matter (a COVID vaccine is on the way), it’s been far more entertaining to pay attention to those that don’t. Here are a few that are imminently relevant today, but History will soon forget.
It has now been an entire month since Donald Trump lost the election, but this bro still has not conceded to Joe Biden.Â
I personally have lost track of all the conspiracy theories needed to explain why Biden’s win is still in doubt, and apparently many of Trump’s own senior staffers have too. Attorney General Bill Barr narrowly avoided a sentence to GTMO for saying his department could find no evidence of meaningful fraud; while Georgia GOP Secretary of State Brad Raffensberger, who was tasked with investigating Biden’s narrow win in the Peach State for any signs of foul play, looks more baffled by Trump’s claims that the election was stolen than I am by claims that soccer is a real sport.
There was an NFL game on a Tuesday this week.Uhh… sorry. WTF does that even mean? If the NFL playing on Tuesdays isn’t the definition of national COVID fatigue, then I have no idea what is.
Speaking of which, COVID is back and in a big way. At SSG HQ in Los Angeles, California, Gov. Gavin Newsom and Mayor Eric Garcetti have basically declared that anyone who steps outside their residence will die instantly. To prevent this, LA Mayor Garcetti has issued a full lockdown for the entire city…as well as a 7-page single-spaced document detailing exceptions to the full lockdown.Â
I personally am loving this because California citizens are finally learning what it is like to be a California businesses. The only difference is that you now need a full legal team to determine if you are allowed to go grocery shopping (permitted!) if you ride your bike (not permitted!) to the store.
Some knuckleheads are talking about whether or not the massive unpopularity of two-faced loser Dems who shutdown their state and then rip beers at French Laundry (I am looking at you, Gavin Newsom and SF Mayor London Breed) means that Republicans will have a chance to compete in these deep Blue regions again.
Ha! That’s funny. The truth is that Bernie Bro liberals in Big Cities are griping about the same things that conservatives are: that conventional Dems like Newsom boned their neighborhoods and nuked their local small businesses with phony lockdowns that didn’t consider economic reality or the full breadth of science. The Lefty policies they’ll call for will be very different from those of Republicans, but the two sides will have to share the same inciting incident and a lot of the same persuadable mind.
At this point, it’s hard to say who the protest vote will favor in the coming years: Republicans saying the government overreached, or Bernie Bros saying it didn’t do enough.
Lastly, apparently there is a coronavirus vaccine on the way.
 Does anyone really care? I suppose the stock market does, as it sits near $30,000. But the hilarity of the present is too much to overlook. The moments that matter seem impossibly far away, so for the time being, the ones that don’t take center stage.
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KEENDAWG.
