The Best Bets for Joe Biden’s Inaugural Address

Animals,

As you know, the USA’s role as the #1 country on earth is in freefall. Basically, the only thing that we are still #1 at is coronavirus infections, which is only slightly more embarrassing than having soccer as your national sport.

Lots of people think that this is about to change today, due to the fact that Joe Biden is getting inaugurated president and Donald Trump is being deported to a warzone of disease and cocaine called Florida. But I personally am not an optimist. This is due to the fact that Joe Biden is old AF and his Vice President, Kamala Harris, has spent her career being more divisive than the Game of Thrones finale.

However, the Brits are definitely paying back the favors they owe us from approximately 1941-Forever and delivering a case for genuine optimism with the bangagrang political betting opportunities at Ladbrokes.

Ladbrokes has listed some “Mention Markets,” for Joe Biden’s inaugural address. I.E., what will he say — my favorite bet to make. Unfortunately, we Americans cannot wager on their site.

But for those of you in the UK who can… I am going to take a quick look at these bets and just fantasize.

INAUGURATION STRATEGY:

  • Inaugural addresses are usually short – 15-20 mins max, so not a lot of time to cover tons of stuff.
  • Joe Biden has been projecting optimism and unity, and has been ignoring divisive issues surrounding Trump’s antics and insurrection.

Basically, most of Joe Biden’s speeches and public appearances have emphasized these themes:

  • Republicans aren’t evil, so Democrats should treat them fairly because there is not a “Red and Blue America” or a “Black and White America,” there’s just an America.
  • Everyone who isn’t white is incredibly awesome and he cares SOOOO much about you
  • Except for Orange People (Donald Trump), who is a total joker and whose bad behavior is beneath Biden to comment on.
  • TONE: Optimism, realism, but mostly optimism!

WHERE’S THE MONEY?

Listen Animals, I don’t have my cash at stake here, so what I’m about to say is strictly shooting from the hip. I’m going to skim through these lines quickly and point you towards some value for your own personal exploration.

Check it out:

KEENDAWG.

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