What Trash Hollywood Sequels Tell Us About Trump’s 2nd Impeachment

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Animals,

One of my least favorite things about Hollywood is that it is basically out of creativity. The only movies they make anymore are about people who are either discovering their superhero powers or their intersectional identities. 

But lately, I have been noticing that Washington, D.C. is only churning out garbage sequels too. For example, this week we are witnessing Impeachment 2: The Insurrection, which is the follow-up to the blockbuster hit Impeachment: Ukraine that riveted audiences in the Fall of 2019. 

But unfortunately for us, they didn’t even bother to change the plot in this boring re-tread. It’s still all about Trump doing unethical things, Democrats being in a sloppy rush to punish him for them, and Republicans refusing to hold Trump accountable no matter how bad his actions were.

Now, to their credit, both parties have re-cast this movie to keep it a little fresh. 

Rep. Jamie Raskin has replaced Rep. Jerry Nadler in the Democrats’ starring role. And he’s got a new supporting cast to help with the prosecution. Democrats are using this impeachment as a vehicle to launch the careers of young starlets like Reps. Madeline Dean, Dianne Degette, and Joe Neguse. We’ll see if Joe Biden picks up their options to be leading men and women in the future.

Finally, the Democratic cast is joined by character actor Rep. Eric Swalwell, who is the only living member of Congress to fart on live TV, bang a Chinese spy, and still cruise to re-election. Talk about vaudeville.

On the Republican side, things are in a greater state of disarray than a Fox News car chase. But then again, that’s sort of the norm these days.

Trump’s legal team put in a pitiful performance in their premiere, where attorneys Bruce Castor and David Schoen looked like they were cast from the circus and not a studio lot due to budgetary constraints. 

Liberals like to knock Trump for being a phony businessman, but you have to hand it to him — this was a cunning move. Would you invest in high-quality content if you knew your supporters would buy whatever schlock you put on screen? Or would you hire some circus clowns to thumb their noses at the Democrats? Like it or not, the answer here is obvious. This trial is in the bag for Trump, but the slew of lawsuits he will face in the near future are not. In those proceedings, the jury won’t be composed of senators who are part of his personal cult.

Lastly, where is Rep. Adam “Schiffty” Schiff, the House Intelligence Committee Chairman whose subpoenas to Trump knocked his whole administration off-script for 3 years? 

His absence owes to “creative differences” between himself and Trump over the kind of impeachable offense the President committed. Whereas Impeachment 1 was derivative of naughty acts with foreign powers, Impeachment 2 is strictly domestic, and therefore, not the Intelligence Chairman’s problem. 

And that’s all the better for old Schifty, who’s been spotted back in his homestate hoping to be cast in the role of a lifetime: Attorney General of California.

But before that happens, we’ll have to sit through yet another sequel: a California Total (election) Recall. By the look of things in Sacramento, this one is all but guaranteed to get the greenlight soon.

KEENDAWG.

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