Supreme Court Day 1: Meet Sorority Pledgemaster Lindsey Graham

Animals,

The first day of Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Supreme Court hearing is underway. And like most of the geniuses handycapping her confirmation, I had my eyes on Lindsey Graham the whole time, not because he has awesome hair but because his vote is going to be among the most difficult to predict.

Usually, Senator Graham votes for President Biden’s (and Obama’s before that) judicial nominations. But he has been extremely squirelly about how he intends to vote for Judge Jackson, which has resulted in this tasty market:

This is a huge opportunity for those of you who think the past is prologue. Graham never stops reminding Democrats that he voted to seat Judges Sotomayor and Kagan and generally gets-off on having some bipartisan chops.

The problem is that he has been throwing a one-man temper tantrum ever since Judge Michelle Childs, a South Carolinian, didn’t get Biden’s nomination. Honestly someone needs to spank him and send him to bed because it is not cute at all.

So, how did day one go?

Lindsey Graham basically greeted Judge Jackson to the Senate the way a sorority pledge master would greet some new freshmen to the chapter house: by telling her that the fun is now over and she will need to demonstrate a lot of sparkle to earn his respect & vote.

Here is the full video:

The tantrum that he threw was absolutely amazing. Enjoy the highlights.

Less quotable, but super relevant, were Sen. Graham’s statements that a network of Left Wing billionaires conspired to nuke Judge Michelle Childs nomination and install KBJ as their proxy. Also that the Democratic Party is completely mental and treats non-white jurists who are conservatives like they are Nazi sympathizers.

Graham’s objections to KBJ’s nomination boiled down to his opinion that Democrats have turned into psychos and billionaires like George Soros are calling the shots.

This is probably why Graham’s vote is priced lower than Sen. Murkowski’s, who has also been cagey AF but has stopped short of listing conspiracy theories:

That said, there is still a reasonable chance that Sen. Graham comes around to supporting KBJ.

The bro left himself with just enough room to maneuver, which you’ll notice if you listen to his full speech.

Like I said, he didn’t really criticize KBJ much and mostly just said some random stuff Fox News would to own the Libz. So to vote YES Graham could theoretically just say that despite the fact that multiple conspiracy theories are running the Democratic party (his words not mine), KBJ herself was still pretty rad and deserved his support. He does this constantly for other Biden judges.

This logic might turn out to be wrong, but I personally think that in addition to his perfect blonde hair, one of Lindsey Graham’s favorite attributes to see when he looks at himself in the mirror is a thicc bipartisan statesmen, which his voting record backs up. That is a very different type of guy than someone who gets butt hurt about conspiracy theories.

That said, it’s more likely than not that Graham is telling the truth right now — that he is NOT going to vote for this nomination.

He is practically telegraphing a no-vote and anyone who ever held YES will immediately look and feel like a mentally deranged, subhuman primate if he does go through with it.

The move here is to wait and see. Graham’s Q&A with KBJ will reveal a lot in tone and body language that can cut through the theatrics. I think we’ll know where he’s at after a few minutes of candor. Sure, you’ll lose some upside, but getting a little more info will eliminate a great deal more risk too.

KEENDAWG.

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